*sigh* it's been a tough week...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

It's been a tough a week and when I say that I don't mean that anything bad has happened to US - there was nothing out of the ordinary going on for Rob and I - nothing any "tougher" than usual with our lives...they were as typical and busy and "tough" as they typically are with a 2.5 year old and a 15 month old - tack on a snowstorm every few days, etc etc - you know the drill.
What was "tough" was the life's lessons that were brought to our attention by way of other's lives this week. True - each and every day we have people we know and love in our prayers but this week...this week was especially tough. I have a knot in my stomach that just won't go away. Earliar in the week someone shared a website with me that belongs to a former colleague of Rob named Amy - he still works with her mom. Rob and I attended a wedding with them and their husbands last fall and Amy was looking fantastic if I do say so, a breast cancer "survivor"...but now, the cancer is back, has spread, and she has been given approximately four months to live...her words echo in my mind...
Amy writes about her children...
"Then it was a matter of holding them tight in my bed and saying how much I loved them and how sorry I was for having to leave them. They are my babies - my reason for fighting, for living and not only is my life shattered, but theirs as well. Now that I'm home I'm just relishing in those little things I missed - like the smell of the kids when they kiss me good night and the feel of the cats fur. I spent lots of time this past week watching my boys sleep - especially Cody because he is having a more difficult time. I smell their pillows and sweatshirts and it sounds so weird, but it's almost soothing."
Then, my dear friend Tonya - (Jarrett's Mommy) calls - she had a bouncing baby boy on March 28th - Samuel Isaiah weighed in a 9 lbs 6 oz. - Cute as a button - Well, her "little" bundle of joy topped breathing - thankfully while she was holding him - he had some crazy crying and then just went limp, she gave him mouth to mouth while her husband called 911-thankfully he is healthy and doing well now but...how scary!!
So with that fresh on my mind we get news that one of our docs at Fairview lost his wife to suicide. She hung herself. On her 29th birthday. I'm hearing all of this crap about how she was such a devoted mother to her four year old and 15 month old daughters - would a devoted mother take her own life and leave her babies behind??
All I could think about was the mommy's out there who would give anything for just one more day...one more hour!
It made me sick to my stomach...

Friday was a benefit for a young gal from Gtown who has been fighting lung cancer since November - a girl just a few years younger from me, a girl who has never smoked a day in her life...you can read about Kelly's fight here...

And then...there's the one that has really really stuck with me...The thing that I just cannot get off of my mind, off of my heart no matter how hard I try. It is my reminder to STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF! I cannot stop thinking about his story and every time I get upset with one of the kids, the dog, etc, I remember that my life is a freakin' piece of cake. Matt, a former Minneapolis guy shared his story...and it breaks my heart to pieces...
Matt writes...
i’m a proud new father (originally from mpls, now in los angeles) who is definitely in the process of managing changing priorities.
i’m doing it on my own (my wife passed away the day after our baby was born).
i’m writing a bit about my experiences.
some of the language is a little blue, but i can’t help it.
it’s been a tough two weeks.



So anyway...Here I am hoping this knot in my stomach will go away soon. I have a lot to be thankful for. A LOT. I am amazingly blessed and every day that God grants me I will do everything I can to show my appreciation. We shouldn't need reminders to help us let everyone know we love and care for them, to not take things for granted, but the fact is, we do. We all do. We get so caught up in the everyday goings on in life that we do take things for granted. Not just little things but big things when the fact of the matter is we are not gauranteed one more day. We aren't even gauranteed one more hour. We have to live each day as if it were the last and we have to make sure we do not take things, but most especially, PEOPLE for granted. Never ever never ever.
Love and hugs to you all out there - DG


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