Make me a Channel of Your Peace

Monday, August 30, 2010

I was here...on a clear, sunny day not two weeks ago...






And behind these big. heavy. doors...I sat with my big. heavy. heart...


Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

I have been through this before...I'm no stranger to grief...but this time, this time is different.

When I lost my dad...I had my mom...I had my mom to be strong for.
Make plans with.
Call on the phone.

Oh how we called each other on the phone.

While we didn't make the journey *home* very often...several times a week my mom and I gabbed on the phone...not marathon convos mind you -15 minutes here, 20 minutes there...sometimes 5 here...


This is different.


While it's been hard in the past...very, very hard...This time...This time is so. much. harder.


I am thankful to have a wonderful, supportive and understanding hubs...and two kids who my world revolves around...

but that's just the thing...

I hear over and over again...'take time for yourself' blah blah blah...


Life doesn't stop because I need a break...in my world, it doesn't even slow down.

10 comments:

MamaBear said...

Oh Darcie my heart breaks for you tonight! I lost my dad almost 7 years ago and I gotta tell ya that the two days my mom was here this past week were extra special because I couldn't stop thinking about you.


(((HUGS)))

MollyinMinn said...

Oh Darcie. This was so strong and so simple. I think you put to words what so many of us know, without really knowing, this will feel like someday.

I hear you on the life not stopping nor slowing down. But at least find moments. Moments for yourself to just be.

Hugs.

LutherLiz said...

Darcie, you've been in my thoughts so much in the last few weeks. I can only imagine your pain and wish there was something I could do for you.

You write so beautifully about it so I am sure that your mother is so very proud of you. Hugs my friend.

AKA "Meesh" said...

You have every bit of peace, understanding, strength, love, and hope I can offer you. You are never alone. Write to her whenever you feel like picking up the phone. It will help. I love you!!

Laura said...

I'm so sorry. It doesn't slow down so make it when you really need it to. You care for a lot of people so let some of them care for you. Look at me write this today after I threw my issues on you asking for help...

Unplanned Cooking said...

I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. So sorry, Darcie.

fritzfacts said...

Darcie, your words have brought tears to my eyes. You have put this so well, and so perfectly.

You have been close to my heart the past few months. Please know that I am here, and thinking of you!

Beth Blair said...

Darcie, my heart aches for you. One day at at time...

xo

darcie said...

Thanks Beth - Hard to believe it's already been 2 years...Life keeps moving...that much I know! xxoo

Gina said...

Hugs to you today! Anniversaries are hard! Your
Mother would be so proud of how strong you are!!!

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