Just Write - The Merry Go Round

::swoosh::
::swoosh::
::swoosh::

I hear the Merry Go Round spinning faster and faster.

Rhythmic.

Loud.

So loud, it’s quiet.

The quiet…it’s deafening.

I used to be on this roller coaster.

Spinning, Swirling. Laughing.

Somehow. Someway. I fell off.
I’m not exactly sure when I fell.

I stand up. I dust myself off.

I have no visible bruises. No cuts. No scratches. No broken bones.

Yet. I hurt.
Something hurts.

I stand in the midst of the loud deafening silence.

::swoosh:: ::swoosh:: ::swoosh::

My head swivels as I take it all in.

I wait, frozen in place, waiting for the right time to jump back on.

Is there a right time?

Has the deafening silence ::swoosh:: ::swoosh:: ::swoosh:: made it impossible to find my way back on?

I watch them: spinning, swirling, laughing.

Do I even want back on this Merry Go Round…

Or do I simply make my way over to the slide?

*** I'm linking up with the beautiful and talented Heather of the EO for her Tuesday - Just Write deal-a-ma-bob...It's been awhile since I did it...but I thought it was a good time to do it again ***

Just Write. Kindergarten.

It's not a new ritual...it's quite old really.
But the circumstances surrounding the ritual are different.
She's a school kid now after all.

Kindergarten.

I ask 'how was your day? what was the BEST PART?'

Every day she answers with something different.

I liked rest time.

I had so much fun making a bead necklace!

I loved music. The library was so much fun!

I really liked coloring my name with different colors and bubble letters.
*****
Every day I ask 'what was your least favorite part? what part wasn't so fun?'

'Recess' she answers.

Recess? Who doesn't love recess?

I press, but not too much.

'It was too hot,' she answers.

Recess. She answers again on the 2nd day.

On the 3rd day, she mixes it up 'when you picked me up. I wanted to stay longer.'
I take comfort in knowing she is happy there. Having fun.

So much is changing. She rolls with it.

Day 4. 'Recess,' she says again.
'It was too hot for me,' the lies spill off of her tongue.

I hold her close & tell her she can always talk to me. Tell me anything.
I tell her that I can't fix something if I don't know what's broken.

She looks at me with her big brown eyes.

She knows I mean it.

She feels my love.

She trusts me.

A single tear rolls down her cheek.
And then another. And another.

Kindergarten.

*** The Extraordinary Heather from the EO is doing a linky-dink on Tuesdays that she is calling 'Just Write' -
I read her post as well as a few others early this morning...and tonight...as I sat down with my computer...I too decided to...

Well, just write.