8 Days a Week, Er, Two Weeks..

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Well, we did it..Today was the end of our second week at the 'new' daycare. I wonder how long we can call it new? Anyway - eight days under our belts.

I'll be honest - this whole experience has really floored me. Kids are adaptable, people tell me that all the time, heck I say it too. Then why, why oh why oh why oh why ~ was I consoling my sobbing almost four year old at 10 pm tonight over going back to the 'new' daycare next week?
What the hell is taking so long??? ADAPT already!

As you know, I am very confident in the new providers ~ Yes, it's plural. We have found a mother/daughter licensed in home daycare. We immediately felt comfortable with them, they have great references, and we feel that the program they have to offer is what we have come to expect for childcare for our kids.

Is it great? I wouldn't go that far - Lisa had us really spoiled at our previous daycare. We knew when the kids went potty - both #1 & #2, we knew what they spent their day doing, how long they slept and what they did or didn't eat. We don't really get that now so it's hard to communicate with the kids about their days.
Like today - I asked H..."What did you guys have for lunch?" Her answer - "oh, I don't know!" - and it appears she really didn't remember, most likely because she didn't eat it but whatever. I would still like to know!
It's supposed to be on the 'white board' in the daycare entry but - that hasn't been changed for a couple of days so...I have no clue what they've been eating, or in our case - not eating.


The first day went ok - We were all gung ho and everyone walked up to the door by themselves - We got inside with only D a little hesitant. H quickly jumped in, wrapped her arms around him and consoled him. At pick up they asked when they could come back...awesome.
The last 7 days however have not been quite so peachy...
Mornings of H sobbing and anxious, D crying and pulling on the door handle trying to open it as I'm trying to close it..
ugh - how do you go to the J-O-B with THAT on your mind? It's not easy that's for sure.

I know they do better after I drop them off, because I'm told they do but H still has periods of tears throughout the day. I need to get H over this hump. D has adjusted quite well and fits right in (at least I think he does!)
But H - I had no idea my little girl was so introverted. MOTY I guess huh? Today the provider noted to me that H is an observer not really a participator. Now when the heck did that happen?

We do LOTS of stuff and she ALWAYS participates and has always been good about making sure the kid that didn't feel comfortable enough to join in did...I mean, she did right? Now I second guess myself - do I even know my little girl?
Worse than that is how do I make her feel better?

I've been asking and asking and asking her what she likes and doesn't like about the new place. I get silly things like "I don't like to pick up the toys" I hear ya kid - I'm pretty tired of it myself! I don't like the food ~ Yes, well, you never really do unless it's one of three things so...that's nothing new..."I'm shy!" Since when? Tonight though - she did tell me "They don't have a dollhouse there!" ok JACKPOT! THAT is enough to make my little girl sob uncontrollably for hours. This kid loves her some dollhouse. Doesn't matter what she's playing ~ The Loving Family People that came with her dollhouse, the Little People, Polly Pockets, Barbies or even GI JOES and Matchbox cars - everyone fits right in in her beloved Doll House. She loved the dollhouse at Lisa's and it's one of her favorite things to do at our neighbor sitter's too!
Poor kid...A daycare with no dollhouse? That just might be the entire issue here!
ok, maybe not - but it really is huge for our little girl.

I am hoping and praying that things get easier in time - they will right? They have to!
The new daycare has so many pros to it - in addition to us really liking the providers, it's only 1.5 miles from our house - no stoplights from here to there! It is across the street from the school the kids will go to when they are of age. We get two weeks of vacation at no charge - totally a bonus but for this family who can't get their money tree to grow - that was a really really big bonus. I am now showering in the morning instead of at midnight because I am not spending that extra time driving in the mornings, after work we are home from work/daycare a good 30-45 minutes earliar than before - with both kids still awake! (lots of times that car ride would lull the kids into lullabye land making for some really late nights after much too late naps)

Ok - there, I think I've reconvinced myself that this is going to be ok - but boy does it ever break this Mama's hear to have her lil baby girl so anxious, emotional, & upset over this change. I imagine that this is what death must feel like to a child - our Lisa was there one day, gone the next...The kids keep asking about her over and over and over again - is she still on vacation, when are we going back there, etc etc
I wonder if I asked those questions when my mom died? I'll never know thanks to my family and their lack of sharing any sort of history what-so-ever, ever.
But I know for certain that I will do everything in my power to get the kids past this...Of course, this isn't really like death - we have every intention of staying in touch with Lisa and getting together from time to time - H wanted to call her last week (of course at drop off time - and each day I told her when I picked her up we would call Lisa but when it came time, she didn't want to, so we waited)

A couple of peeps have told me that H is playing me - and trust me, if that were the case, she'd be sitting next to me at work every day for 8 hours coloring pictures or watching movies on the portable DVD player - I'm still making her go - I'm still encouraging her - I'm not giving her any easy outs. The kid is legitimately anxious and overwhelmed by this change - she is her father's daughter. That is now official.

So, here's to a busy but enjoyable weekend and a less anxious toddler - but do you think it'd be rude if we shopped for a second hand dollhouse and 'donated' it to the new place? My kid would sit there and play with it for the entire day I swear it!


Amelia Sprout said...

I would ask the new provider about the dollhouse. They might really appreciate it. Especially if you know it would help her adjust more.

It will get better. It will come and go. I still see kids that freak out every so often, despite having been at our daycare forever.

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