Ho Ho Ho...

Crazy how another year has come and gone -
And here we find ourselves at another daycare holiday party -

It amazes me how good all the kids will sit for their providers...In fact, when the most delish prepared food was all said and done and ready to be eaten, we parents were shooed back downstairs because the kids do better getting settled at the table without us around! HA HA!

But a lot of their goodness might be due in part to a visit from THIS GUY~

D just couldn't wait to tell the man what was on his Christmas list...and I almost fell out of my chair when he said 'A bow and arrow!' What?
We don't hunt...and I find it odd he even knows what that is!

The kids made Christmas wish lists this year by clipping pictures out of sale fliers - what a great idea!


D's was two pages - front and back - I was a tad embarrassed as most kids were one page - and one little girl had ONE THING on her one page - but then another little boy went up with his four pages front and back and I felt much much better...
ah. to be a kid again!

These hats slay me...their names are written on the front of each one - and while a couple of the kids were smart enough to figure out that is how Santa knew their names - many were left awestruck as he called them out by name immediately after walking in the door -

Me & My Best Girl -

The Gang with the Big Man himself -

The kids got Zhu Zhu pets this year - and they were thrilled...

We've been very blessed to have great people to help us take care of our babies.

How wonderful it would be if we could be with them every day ourselves, but life doesn't always work out that way...

Besides, if that were the case - we wouldn't have fun daycare parties to attend that are as lovely as this one is...the children singing, the gift opening, the oodles and oodles of different dishes and cookies and all around good cheer -

Jolly Old St. Nick -

So the conflict for the original Disney on Ice night out happened to be the annual daycare party at the *new* daycare. At the Halloween Party all of the parents told me that it was a could-not-miss event and I knew the kids would be disappointed to miss out on the fun as well - so thankfully, we were able to make arrangements to join in on the fun!

Who would want to miss a special surprise visit by the Jolly Old Guy himself?


The kids were so cute...Santa called up a kid, who then had their sibling hop up too for a perfect photo opp...
So the second kid he called upon happened to be H - who promptly hopped up on Santa's lap while D kept informing him "I'm her brudder! I'm her brudder!"
He wanted to be sure his turn was also RIGHT NOW!

The kids got little gifts from Santa and then got to open bigger gifts from their daycare providers....






The younger girls got princess tents....

And the younger boys Lightning McQueen ones!





A hit to be sure!

The kids even treated us to a special holiday program - complete with choreography! A perk I suppose of having a daycare instructor who is also a dance coach and a member of the performance team for our professional lacrosse team.

My video of course doesn't do it justice! Soo cute!

I wish I'd of taken some secret snap shots of the wonderful food that was served up...but seeing as how we're new there and I don't know any of the other parents and they may or may not know about my obsession with photographs...I refrained...
But the food, the food was SPECTACULAR! There were soo many amazing things to choose from - and all soo delish! They had the kids eat in their usual spots with each other so the adults could visit and enjoy a nice warm meal - what a gift that was!
We offered to bring something...and no wonder she said just our smiles...she put my cooking to shame - not that that's hard to do, but I can see why she didn't want us bringing anything ourselves...We should have dinner there every night!!
It's been a tough few months as we've all adjusted to the changes that we've been making, but I think we're going to make it after all!
Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Halloween Partyin' and a Daycare Update...

So after the punkin' carvin was finished...I had to wrangle the kids into costume to head over to the daycare Halloween Party...
unlike years' past - at our new daycare - the Halloween party is a really big deal for the kids AND their families who all come as well -

Our 'traditional' shot of the kids on the table with the pumpkins...

Q~Isn't that the very same costume that H wore in 2006 when she was just one year old? And again in 2008?
A~Why yes, yes it is! Thanks for asking!! I purchased the costume as a 2T when she was just one - knowing we'd have to put it over her clothes because October 31st in Minnesota is traditionally quite cold...Even though it is definitely NOT still her size - she insisted on wearing it! Just as she did LAST YEAR!

Q~Isn't that the very same costume that D wore last year too?
A~Why yes, yes it is! Thanks for asking! He did not know what he wanted to be this year. We looked at costumes often at multiple different stores. Finally, with about 12 hours to spare he informed us he wanted to be a vampire, and a bat.
Well, sorry Scooby...you're out of luck! Thankfully, this one still fit...again, because we bought just big enough to put over clothes last year...


She was all smiles as we headed out to the daycare party!

I knew the party was going to be a big deal, but I didn't know just HOW big a deal til we got there and saw just how many kids from now and then enjoying the Halloween Party!

No wonder they ask the parents come to help out and run some of the games the kids partake in!

(yep - definitely the last year for this costume! stay tuned for Halloween 2010!)

A little Fireman picking out a prize after playing ring toss...

And check this out..you ARE seeing double! D and his little buddy were BOTH Scooby Do this year!

There was face painting...

And the two little girls with the same name had matching Rainbows...

It's amazing to see all of the princess/fairy type costumes...Guess we know what's big with the pre-k crowd this year huh?

H with one of her two 'new' providers...

Which brings me to this...We've now been at daycare for two weeks since I called them to talk about H's insecurities...and things are going remarkably better. In fact, they are like night and day different for our little H - Thank GOD!

The first couple of mornings there were minor anxiety issues...H asking me if I talked to both of the providers again, did they know she didn't want to be outside alone, etc etc...and after knowing that things were CHANGED and CHANGED FOR GOOD - the drop off tears ended...Hallelujah!

And that folks...

That is why I never shut up...I couldn't just sit back and let our little girl be miserable...if having an uncomfortable conversation for fifteen minutes will change the life of one of the most important people in my life, which in turn changes the life of ME...what do you have to lose?

What are you waiting for? SPEAK UP TODAY!

I do need to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you who read my last post about daycare and offered me words of support whether it was via Facebook, Twitter, or Email - there were only a few of you who left comments here, but dozens who emailed me or spoke with me directly and I am so very grateful for this village of folks out here getting me through my days...

Knowing that I am not alone, not a failure, not completely off my rocker crazy...is a tremendous lifesaver.

So to each and every one of you reading - whether you had a horror story of your own to share, a story of how you trusted your own gut and pulled your child(ren) from their situation and saw immediate change, or those that offered me just a pat on the back for speaking out...THANK YOU!

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for each and every one of you!

xoxo

Let them be little...

So...over three months ago we switched daycare providers. It is not something that we wanted to do, but something that had been on our minds for quite some time, and we felt would be a positive thing for our family. If you've been here before, you know we loved loved loved our daycare provider. She was everything we had hoped for for our children and more.

She not only met every expectation, but beat it as well.

Our kids were happy...and we were happy. That daycare provider built a new house further out of town that added to our daily commute - added an extra 41 miles a day actually - but for awhile we were willing to do it. With busy metro traffic and wonky Minnesota weather - there were many many days I was late for work...sometimes not just late - sometimes HOURS late...
If you know me, you know that this City Life isn't necessarily for me...So driving past my exit and being on the road another 20+ minutes one way to get our kids was starting to tax me...and in turn, I felt it was taxing my family...

So when our favorite daycare provider decided to move again to a different house, a little further out yet - adding (just how much depending on if we took a gravel short cut or stayed on concrete) even more time to my already hectic commute...
We decided it was as good a time as any to research our options -
So we did...and we were confident in the new provider(s) that we found. We ARE confident with the new provider(s) that we found...the kids are learning a ton and both recite the pledge of allegience. They know a ton of new songs & are learning so very much...we were impressed with what they had learned before - but now, under the care of an actual school teacher - you can really see their brains sponging up new info!!

Buuuttttt it's been a long adjustment period for some of us. And by long... I mean looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg. It took about a month for H to settle in and be happy to go - D, oh, maybe an hour? That surprised us...he was our 'difficult' baby - we thought it'd be tougher for him to transition than for her...but we were wrong. Dead wrong.

After about a month, she finally seemed to be enjoying herself...

But then, just as we knew would happen...The 2nd part of the two provider team started doing more of the care - so the kids were having to adjust to a different person again and a different 'style' of care - more old school if you will.
Well, it's now been over three months - and for the past several weeks H has been back to being happy go lucky until we get inside the door - where she starts sobbing under her breathe and trying not to cry...

Now before you say she's playing me...keep in mind it's been OVER three months...and by her crying, she's not getting anything from me but an extra hug (an extra hug that little brother also gets even though he's not crying!)
She's still going to daycare four days a week...She's not 'getting her way' by acting this way.
I feel she is legitimately scared or anxious or something...

I've been pressing her and pressing her for information...remember, this is my baby - she just turned four last month...

One day she was scared to 'ask' to go potty - so she peed her pants and HID it ALL DAY waiting til she got home to tell me! WHAT!?! I told her she can ALWAYS go potty...and showed her where we keep the change of clothes should that happen again...God help me if it does!

The other day, she told me she didn't like a certain kid cuz they have stinky breathe...bwahahahaaa - got a kick out of that one!

Occasionally she mentions that she wants me to pick her up before they go outside because she doesn't like going outside by herself...I've been there when they are getting ready to go outside - they get their shoes,etc on and go out two by two - until everyone, including the littles and the provider are outside...So I was assuming that that was the issue - she wanted to go out with her provider(s).
(This is our little girl who at 14 months old at her first daycare Christmas party refused to have anything to do with either of her parents and instead clung to and hung out with her Daycare provider the entire party! How embarrassing! ;) )

So...after pressing her for more info last night - She tells me that the kids play outside while lunch is being made - and that she is scared to be outside alone without an adult...
So NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW we are getting somewhere...
At our house - the rule is - you don't get to be outside without an adult - unless you are making 'recipes' on the deck or near the bottom of the deck stairs playing on the 'pirate ship' -
it's our rule...It's for good reason. She JUST TURNED FOUR not even a month ago...and little brother is still only two. Our yard is not fenced in...nor is daycare's...
(Our house backs up to a very busy road.)

I called our provider to discuss this...She informed me that when it's time to make lunch, the little kids go in with the providers and the bigger kids stay out and play within eye/ear shot of the kitchen window while lunch is being made...

She is more than willing to accommodate our request and bring H in with the littles when it's time to make lunch, but not without first reminding me that my child is very shy and could have trouble starting school, trouble with transitions, etc...

...yeah well, she's four...Can't we just let them be little for once? Do they have to grow up so damn fast? I'm not worried about her starting school for two more years, blah blah blah...

~I could see the relief in H's eyes when I told her that she could come in when the adults come in - she had a smile on her face and her anxiety was gone.

Also...during said discussion with provider...She reminded me that when she was little she was gone all day without anyone knowing where she was, and that our anxieties as parents rub off on our children - that she was just at a workshop about such stuff. I do realize that - I think I was no older than 5 when I was out playing alone, walking two blocks to the city pool and spending all day there.
But that was 30 years ago. Times have changed and we live in a major metropolitan area. Things are different now. Very different.

I realize that I can't protect my kids forever. I do. But she's FOUR. BARELY four. And she's scared. And guess what? I'm GLAD she's scared to be outside alone at barely four years old. I do not want my kids walking up to any old car and saying hello to whomever might be inside...I WANT them to be aware of their surroundings and I want them to be comfortable in the presence of adults. I do not want my children thinking it's ok to 'go outside and play alone' whenever they feel like it...Do you people watch the news? Kids get out and freeze to death not being able to get back in, kids get abducted on their way home from school, etc etc

And as my good friend and neighbor said...I know my kids...one minute they are in my backyard - the next minute they are at her house getting a gumball from her awesome gumball machine! It only takes a second.

I know. I know...I can't protect her forever - but I can help her to feel better about certain things...and it's my JOB to protect her from what I can...
I realize we all have different parenting styles and no one way is the right way...(except I of course think our way is the right way...and it IS...for us! And would people compliment us on our perfect children if our parenting style really sucked so bad?? Ok, don't answer that part!)

If me telling my little girl at 6:30 am that it's ok to be sad and that if she tries really hard I just know she can have a great day instead of running out on her while she's sobbing isn't ok...then I need to figure out a way to make things ok.

Because this...this is not ok.

8 Days a Week, Er, Two Weeks..

Well, we did it..Today was the end of our second week at the 'new' daycare. I wonder how long we can call it new? Anyway - eight days under our belts.

I'll be honest - this whole experience has really floored me. Kids are adaptable, people tell me that all the time, heck I say it too. Then why, why oh why oh why oh why ~ was I consoling my sobbing almost four year old at 10 pm tonight over going back to the 'new' daycare next week?
What the hell is taking so long??? ADAPT already!

As you know, I am very confident in the new providers ~ Yes, it's plural. We have found a mother/daughter licensed in home daycare. We immediately felt comfortable with them, they have great references, and we feel that the program they have to offer is what we have come to expect for childcare for our kids.

Is it great? I wouldn't go that far - Lisa had us really spoiled at our previous daycare. We knew when the kids went potty - both #1 & #2, we knew what they spent their day doing, how long they slept and what they did or didn't eat. We don't really get that now so it's hard to communicate with the kids about their days.
Like today - I asked H..."What did you guys have for lunch?" Her answer - "oh, I don't know!" - and it appears she really didn't remember, most likely because she didn't eat it but whatever. I would still like to know!
It's supposed to be on the 'white board' in the daycare entry but - that hasn't been changed for a couple of days so...I have no clue what they've been eating, or in our case - not eating.

::sigh::

The first day went ok - We were all gung ho and everyone walked up to the door by themselves - We got inside with only D a little hesitant. H quickly jumped in, wrapped her arms around him and consoled him. At pick up they asked when they could come back...awesome.
The last 7 days however have not been quite so peachy...
Mornings of H sobbing and anxious, D crying and pulling on the door handle trying to open it as I'm trying to close it..
ugh - how do you go to the J-O-B with THAT on your mind? It's not easy that's for sure.

I know they do better after I drop them off, because I'm told they do but H still has periods of tears throughout the day. I need to get H over this hump. D has adjusted quite well and fits right in (at least I think he does!)
But H - I had no idea my little girl was so introverted. MOTY I guess huh? Today the provider noted to me that H is an observer not really a participator. Now when the heck did that happen?

We do LOTS of stuff and she ALWAYS participates and has always been good about making sure the kid that didn't feel comfortable enough to join in did...I mean, she did right? Now I second guess myself - do I even know my little girl?
Worse than that is how do I make her feel better?

I've been asking and asking and asking her what she likes and doesn't like about the new place. I get silly things like "I don't like to pick up the toys" I hear ya kid - I'm pretty tired of it myself! I don't like the food ~ Yes, well, you never really do unless it's one of three things so...that's nothing new..."I'm shy!" Since when? Tonight though - she did tell me "They don't have a dollhouse there!" ok JACKPOT! THAT is enough to make my little girl sob uncontrollably for hours. This kid loves her some dollhouse. Doesn't matter what she's playing ~ The Loving Family People that came with her dollhouse, the Little People, Polly Pockets, Barbies or even GI JOES and Matchbox cars - everyone fits right in in her beloved Doll House. She loved the dollhouse at Lisa's and it's one of her favorite things to do at our neighbor sitter's too!
Poor kid...A daycare with no dollhouse? That just might be the entire issue here!
ok, maybe not - but it really is huge for our little girl.

I am hoping and praying that things get easier in time - they will right? They have to!
The new daycare has so many pros to it - in addition to us really liking the providers, it's only 1.5 miles from our house - no stoplights from here to there! It is across the street from the school the kids will go to when they are of age. We get two weeks of vacation at no charge - totally a bonus but for this family who can't get their money tree to grow - that was a really really big bonus. I am now showering in the morning instead of at midnight because I am not spending that extra time driving in the mornings, after work we are home from work/daycare a good 30-45 minutes earliar than before - with both kids still awake! (lots of times that car ride would lull the kids into lullabye land making for some really late nights after much too late naps)

Ok - there, I think I've reconvinced myself that this is going to be ok - but boy does it ever break this Mama's hear to have her lil baby girl so anxious, emotional, & upset over this change. I imagine that this is what death must feel like to a child - our Lisa was there one day, gone the next...The kids keep asking about her over and over and over again - is she still on vacation, when are we going back there, etc etc
I wonder if I asked those questions when my mom died? I'll never know thanks to my family and their lack of sharing any sort of history what-so-ever, ever.
But I know for certain that I will do everything in my power to get the kids past this...Of course, this isn't really like death - we have every intention of staying in touch with Lisa and getting together from time to time - H wanted to call her last week (of course at drop off time - and each day I told her when I picked her up we would call Lisa but when it came time, she didn't want to, so we waited)

A couple of peeps have told me that H is playing me - and trust me, if that were the case, she'd be sitting next to me at work every day for 8 hours coloring pictures or watching movies on the portable DVD player - I'm still making her go - I'm still encouraging her - I'm not giving her any easy outs. The kid is legitimately anxious and overwhelmed by this change - she is her father's daughter. That is now official.

So, here's to a busy but enjoyable weekend and a less anxious toddler - but do you think it'd be rude if we shopped for a second hand dollhouse and 'donated' it to the new place? My kid would sit there and play with it for the entire day I swear it!

Twas the night before...

One of the best things about not being able to sleep very much is this...
the view out my back deck early in the mornings...when the rest of the world is snoozing - and the dog just HAS to get outside to help himself to apples from the apple tree go potty - at least I see this...






I wish I could say these photos were altered but sadly - I've only made it through the first 6 classes of my 14 day online photoshop class! blerg!

Tonight's the night - you know - the night before the big day. What big day? The big last day at our current daycare. ugh. I cannot even begin to put into words how emotional this has been for me. I can't say I'm surprised at how emotional this has been - but I can say I AM surprised at how flippant people are about who watches their kids. I'm actually shocked at how many people think switching daycares isn't a big deal.
We had kids to be parents - not to dump our kids off on someone else to raise...I wish we didn't need daycare at all but the sad truth is we can't do it alone...and in all honesty - they get way more out of daycare than I ever imagined they would...and more than I can give them at home too -

We've been so blessed with Lisa as our provider - she has taken great care of our kids and she is closer to our kids than any of our own family members are. Where we see the grandparents once, maybe twice a year - the kids spent 4 full days a week with Lisa - She has opened up her home to our children and has loved them for who they are - for who we are.

Lisa knows that Hails prefers dresses to pants or shorts and in fact, will sometimes wear the same dress two days, ok, three days, in a row. How she sometimes wears her nightgown all day long and thinks it's better than any old dress could be. How the sparkly green velvet fur lined Christmas dress is just the right thing to wear on a hot July day. She knows that pretty much the only meal of the day H eats is breakfast, that she doesn't need to take an afternoon nap ~ that she's a BETTER behaved kid when she doesn't get forced to fall asleep only to be woken up 20 minutes later because it's time for snack.

I love how every morning we are greeting at her door at 6:30am where she takes my cuddly little boy from me and he snuggles into her while I go off to make a dollar. How she puts up with his crazy up and down mood swings and his occasional 'forgot to mention he had to go potty' days...
How she got our kids to give up the binky at one year of age...how we get a hand written note every day telling us exactly what they ate (or mostly in our case - didn't eat) what they played with, what times they went #1 or #2, and what their demeanor was...i.e.: great helper with the baby at daycare, had a time out for hitting his sister...

I love opening the bag at the end of the day and finding a stack of pictures of the kids playing with their daycare friends be it at the park, celebrating someone's birthday or just hanging out ~
I love knowing a full month in advance the breakfast, lunch and snack schedule - I won't serve corn dogs tonight knowing that she is serving them tomorrow for lunch - ok...so that's a lie - I will too - since it's one of three things that our kids eat - but still - I will know that tomorrow night they won't be starving because they actually will eat what is for lunch tomorrow.
::sigh::
We've expected, and had, nothing but the best for our babies...

While I'm confident that we have found a great new daycare, incidentally, one that will cut out approximately 50 miles a day of driving (round trip) it is still very hard to let go. I am imagining that this is what a divorce feels like ~ and it's hard. So very very hard.

Lisa has promised us to watch our kids from time to time - so we can have a date night (did you know it's been over 7 months since the hubs and I have gone out alone? something is wrong with that!) or to provide back up or emergency care for us.
I really hope that she can because we hate to lose her completely ~ While the kids were excited to be 'the new daycare kids' at first - they have since regressed - H telling me she's not going, etc etc.
We've done a couple of drop ins over the past couple of weeks and I am comfortable with the home, the provider and the other kids, I'm just feeling anxious for how our kids are feeling about this big change ~

I'm just so glad they have each other to make this transition
Now, who's going to come to work with me that first week day?

The kids ~
...together they'll be fine -

See here? They are dancin' on the deck - Hails picked out a Snow Princess Costume at Once Upon a Child the other day - She'll NEVER wear it come Halloweener - but for $8.00 - instead of a toy...I'm all over that!

It's not easy....

There's a song I often hear on my work day radio...The words go like this..."I'm falling apart - I'm barely breathing- with a broken heart - that's still beating" and while it's one of those lovey/break up type songs...some of the words totally fit the way I've been feeling this last week or more...I'm trying to keep it all together while trying to make one of the biggest decisions of our lives...and I'm falling apart...

I've talked about this before but now I'm in dire need of some help...(Advice and Comments please!!)

When we were pregnant with H...it was a real struggle to find quality daycare that we could trust. So many things were involved including facts like - we aren't from here so we don't know any trusty old daycare providers - our friends are all spread out across the metro so using providers they have used wasn't an option either, 'back home' in small town North Dakota where everyone knows everyone - you just KNOW where you are going to bring your babies. In the Metro there are daycares on every corner - only some of them - I had to wonder HOW on earth they even get their lisences. There are lots to pick from - but also lots of variance in prices for care. I don't think that a daycare should be chosen solely on price however, if you have to pay more for daycare than you take home in pay, obviously that isn't going to work...Each home provider can only have XX number of kids - and of those kids - good luck finding an open infant spot...

This was our first baby - I think one of the hardest things for ANY new parent is leaving that first baby behind!!

As I mentioned before ~ Lisa came out of no where like a bolt of lightning - I was feeling VERY discouraged calling dozens and dozens of providers...and then there she was.
We instantly fell in love with her and totally trusted her with our baby girl. She was everything we had hoped to find and more. She was affordable, she was only 3 miles from our house, and one huge seller - thanks to her - I made the decision to take Fridays off and spend more time with our daughter. It was still hard, and I cried about leaving H behind lots - but Lisa eased that with daily emails updating me with how H was doing and included pics of her playing with her new friends...

When D was born it was no secret that he was a handful. A grumpy baby on his best days - and I really struggled with how to make him happy and what was going on with him. If the mom can't make him happy, then who in the hell can right? I felt relief knowing that he was in good hands with Lisa while I got back to work and tried to find some sort of balance with our new life - two kids under 15 months of age....etc...

When D was only 9 months old Lisa sold her house and moved to a different suburb ~ one that wasn't as close to our house. We called a few providers near our home but there really wasn't any question that we would follow Lisa to the new house. It hasn't been easy - it adds 42 miles to our round trip commute because we leave our house - head south to her place - then head back up past our house and north to our offices again. It's 22 miles round trip to my office and back from home - it's 60something to add in our current daycare.
It's been a small price to pay knowing our kids are loved and well taken care of - and there have been other things we've loved as well.
We don't have family in town making some things very very difficult...This past winter when one of Rob's friends passed away Lisa offered to keep both of our kids overnight so that I could attend the out of state funeral with Rob and not have to worry about the kids ~ Who does that? No normal daycare provider does - that's a friend right there.
Well - Now Lisa has sold her house again - and is moving farther out yet - not too far - but farther none-the-less. It's been a struggle to get to her place and to work 'on time' with the commute as it is - tack on the Minnesota Winters and heaven help me. I'm not a city girl - I hate commuting...
I don't mind the driving when the kids are in the car with me (well, except when the roads are bad and I worry about them being out in it). Most of the time I enjoy the time in the car with the kids - We sing songs, practice the Alphabet and play I Spy...But there are a lot of days - early in the mornings - where one or both of them are tired and whining all the way to daycare how they don't want to go to Lisa's - they want to stay home, why do I have to go to work, etc etc...That's hard for any mom to hear...

I have to go to work - it's how we afford to have a roof over our heads and food on our table...
And lately - the kid (s) have been falling asleep on the drive home - and then crashing HARD - only to wake up at 6:30 pm...and you know what that means...bedtimes that are 11 pm or so!
ACK. That. is. not. good!

So now - with the new daycare house on the horizon...We figured it as good a time as any to do more interviewing and make the transition to a new daycare home ~ but it's been hard. Emotional and hard. We have found and interviewed a new place that is seemingly perfect and have all but agreed to make the move. I am waiting to talk to two more families about their care there...I spoke with one mom last night and overall liked what I heard but now have concerns again.

She has a 4 year old son and she tells me he spends some time in time outs that she doesn't necessarily agree with - for things like 'not listening to his friends' - ie: if he's standing in front the the TV and they tell him to move and he doesn't...She said that this potential daycare runs a very tight ship and there is no question who is in charge ~ That could be a good thing...but they are kids after all.

Yikes...I'm nervous and scared about how D will do in this new environment - a new, more strict environment. I was told that she feels this new provider is 'getting burnt out' - she's been doing this for 31 years...but she does have her 26 year old daughter there with her - who is a lisenced teacher and provider...So that has to help right?
I worry that it might be too strict and stringent for our kids...they are still just little yet. D is a 2.5 year old little boy - he's still just figuring out his way in the world ya know - heck - so am I!
One of the selling points of making a daycare move now is the fact that the kids can transition together - if we were to continue making the crazy commute for another 2 years til H starts school - then we'd HAVE to move D at that time as well - and then he'd be left to transition and adjust on his own - without his sister and his best friend by his side...sure he'll be older, so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I'm imagining it will be?

I'm waiting to talk to two more families before I make the decision - I say I because my husband will do whatever it is I want to do. He's good that way - but it also makes it really really hard because sometimes I feel like a lot of the decisions are put on my shoulders and this one, this one is heavy!

I will never forgive myself if something happened to our babies while in daycare ~ I watch too much news and it is always in the back of my mind when I think or talk about daycare...People's lives are altered forever even when they thought they were making the right choice...

How do I know what is right? Does it ever get any easier?

FOR SALE!

It's a sign I have come to hate. FOR SALE. For the third time in as many years we are seeing the FOR SALE sign in our daycare home yard. What's the big deal you ask? Only that where we choose to send our kids to daycare is one of the biggest decisions of our lives. Aside from actually deciding to HAVE kids and choosing where to live ourselves - I can't think of a bigger decision, a bigger investment of both time and our money. The place we send our greatest most precious things in our lives!! This is our children's future we are talking about here.
I called more daycares than I care to count when I was pregnant with H. At first I was hell bent I wanted an actual center. There were a few perks I thought I wanted...and then, as I got going and actually began looking closer at the options available to us, I knew a home daycare was the way to go (for us). Little did I know finding a place that even had an opening for an infant would be next to impossible. We're not in North Dakota anymore - We don't have the luxury of knowing everyone in town and use the same daycare provider we went to when we were kids. When we did get "lucky" and find a home daycare with an opening for the age we needed, there was always something goofy - like "We'll discuss the rates when you come in for an interview." - WHY? Because if I drive a nicer car or dress nice my rates will be higher?? Why can't you just discuss them on the phone?? There was the gal who actually put food in the freezer at the end of each meal and kept serving the same thing to the children until they had finally "cleaned their plate" - There were the folks who barely spoke English - how would I communicate with them regarding my child when I don't understand what they are saying in a basic telephone call?

And then...like a bolt of lightning...We discovered Lisa. There were a few drawbacks - like she was only open four days a week and she lived in the opposite direction of our offices...but she was wonderful. Upon interviewing her we knew immediately that she had the daycare for us. Actually, I knew that based on our initial phone conversation, but the in person interview confirmed that.
We took H there and she thrived and I eventually got over leaving her there four days a week...took awhile...but I got there. Then, when we found out we were expecting baby #2 - Lisa assured us she would have room for the baby - and she actually made room for us by bumping the last family to join her care. Backtracking 10 minutes out of the way was nothing for the safety of our children and the peace of mind for us. Then...she put her house up for sale, took it off the market, and put it up again. RoLLeRcOaSTer!!
She built a house and moved even farther away than she already was...it adds an extra 40 miles a day to our commute and takes me quite a bit longer to get to work in the mornings. It's something I have been willing to put up with because we know her and we know our kids are safe. I hate that it takes me an hour in the mornings from the time I leave my house to drop the kids off and then get to work. I'm not a city girl and never have claimed to be. I despise traffic and it makes me grumpy. Add in some rain or snow and that commute time doubles. It's hard not to think about it when I'm sitting in traffic at a dead standstill wishing I was anywhere but there.

It's not worth bringing up to my husband because we've had this talk a million times. It's not such a big deal to him because as far as he's concerned - the kids are safe and happy - the two things that matter most. But it is a big deal to me...I do all the drop offs in the mornings and at least 2 of the 4 pick ups in the afternoon. It just seems to make more sense as he drives twice as far to work as I do and he has to opportunity to car pool sometimes.
Since school has started this fall traffic is especially worse and I have been dipping into my vacation hours to pad my paycheck to make up for the time lost sitting in traffic - not such a big deal when you consider the fact that we don't ever go on vacation...but still...it sucks.
It's not like we haven't always been looking for a new daycare option - over the past three years while the kids have been in daycare with Lisa we've gone on to interview dozens of other providers. There has always been something not quite right - including one woman who had, according to the state licensor, a "wooden spoon incident that was unfounded" EXCUSE ME? Unfounded or not - I don't feel comfortable sending our kids to a woman who has a wooden spoon incident on her record!

So now...as our daycare provider tries to sell her house so she can move to a house with "more land" read: further out...I begin the search once again for a new daycare provider that affords us the same comfort level we have now...or do I? Perhaps it is time to revisit the fact that I even go to work at all.